Monday, June 11, 2012

I noticed the last time I posted was 2009 so that will tell you how great (NOT) I'm doing.  2 weeks ago I went to Ft. Lauderdale and had my lapband removed and I see the surgeon tomorrow, HOPEFULLY, to get my surgery date for gastric bypass and I CANNOT wait.  I started a weight loss page on facebook so this will be my last post here.  Thanks for keeping up with me. :)

Friday, October 16, 2009

Sorry I haven't posted in so long

I have no excuse for not posting except I have been struggling quite a bit and just didn't want to put it in writing for others to see I'm failing. Its depressing enough to myself. :(

I did really good in August, I only set one goal when I had the surgery and that was to be under 300 pounds on my birthday which was August 26th. On the morning of my birthday I was 299.4 so I did accomplish that. Then I sabotaged myself again. When I say sabotaged I'll explain what I mean. I did tell Dr. Bass this also. For such a long time my "fat" has been my security blanket from everything or at least that is what my brain thinks. When I do well and lose weight, it scares me because I realize I am losing part of my blanket and will have to deal with things somehow other than eating it away. I then start eating things I'm not supposed to eat, I think I do it more without realizing it until its done. I have to find a way to escape the "security blanket" feeling and I am not ashamed to say I need to be going to therapy to find out the reasons I eat the way I do, compulsively. I am a food addict and its just like someone that is an alcoholic or drug addict except I can't just put the food away and try to fight my addiction, there is food around me at all times. I'm working on trying to find a way to do therapy and hopefully that will somehow help.

I had lost 44 pounds as of my birthday and I saw the doctor yesterday for a fill and I weighed 310 pounds so I have gained 11 pounds and I HAVE to get it back off. I was having pains in my stomach and it was imflammed or aggravated from vomiting alot becuase of eating too much food. They took 2 ccs of fluid out and I started eating alot of food again. I called them and went back yesterday and got 1.5 ccs back in and have been on liquids until tonight.

I'm waiting for a friend of mine to pick me up to go to a lapband support group because they do help me alot and I have met alot of great friends through the group.

We had a speaker last meeting named Teresa White... she has quite a story. He had gastric bypass surgery several years ago and has lost over 230 pounds, I can't remember the exact amount. I have attached a photo of her before and after and you just can't believe it.

I am looking forward to her speaking again on November 12th. For any of you that have had surgery, she works for Bariatric Eating and they have a website of the most awesome recipes, premade protein drinks, powders, foods, etc. They also have a good online support group meeting every wednesday evening. Check is out here.

If you talk to her or order anything mention that I told you about them, I get nothing for it, just want them to know I am spreading the word :)

Well... I will post next month with an update of my weight. I'm praying every day for the strength to just get through the day and thanking the Lord every night for helping me make it through. I will continue to do that every single day.

Thanks again for the emails I have received telling me to keep my chin up and to be proud of the weight that I have lost so far even thought I stumbled a little bit.

Love to all and I'll be posting soon.

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

July update! Its a good one

Hi everyone... Just wanted to pop in and tell you the update for July. I saw Dr. Bass on July 23rd and the GREAT NEWS is I lost 14 pounds this month for a grand total of 31 pounds so far. I'm so excited and feeling good. Haven't been really hungry except for late afternoon so I have a protein shake for breakfast and a protein shake for lunch and then around 5 i start getting a little growl in my stomach and I have dinner around 6 - 7 which consists of about 3 -5 ounces of protein, chicken salad, tuna salad or something like that with a few bites of vegetables, usually spinach, green beans or brussel sprouts. I'm not really missing the carbs right now which is a good thing. Although, I did pick up a loaf of Raisin bread for Ron the other day and I was drooling all afternoon, lol. Ended up slicing a couple of pieces for him for breakfast the next day and putting it in the freezer so I couldn't smell it. I still am cooking for Ron and to date that doesn't bother me much at all. He gets wierd about wanting to eat in front of me but it really doesn't bother me but I appreciate that he's thinking about it anyway. :)
I was having a little bit of trouble with vomiting about 10 minutes after I ate so I talked to Dr. Bass about it and he took 1/4 of a cc out of the band. Since then I have been hungry all the time, just that little amount made a big difference so I'm going back tomorrow and he's putting it back in. I much rather like not thinking about food than being hungry. I'm trying to get my 85 grams of protein in a day which is hard sometimes but I found this great little test tube things at Walmart for only 1.99 and they are fruit punch and blue raspberry flavored and they are 46 grams of protein in one vial. You can drink it with some water or I like to add them to about 4 ounces of crystal light and they go down well. I don't do them often because it is quite a zolt of protein, not that it will hurt me but I love the chocolate protein shakes too.

I have been going to every support group meeting I can find. I think I will have done 9 of them this month when Friday hits. They are very imforative and I have learned alot in them.
I will be following this post with another one of Teresa White, our speaker that came from Bariatric Eating to tell us her weight loss story and tell us about the great products that they have at the store in Pompano Beach. I'll be showing you her before and after photos too.

Friday, July 10, 2009

Doing great - finally losing steady...

Well it has been a little while since I posted. Dr. Bass gave me a fill on June 25th and it was a pretty big one. Since then I am dropping weight pretty steadily and I'm very happy about that. i was getting very depressed with the whole thing and pretty disgusted as those of you that are keeping track of me know. Honestly, I wasn't doing what I was supposed to be doing but I was hungry all the time and I do mean all of the time. Alot was mental hunger too but I was having a hard time trying to distinguish the difference, I just wanted to fill my face with food, any food.
I saw my family doctor yesterday and finally hit 30 pounds gone. WOOHOO... 30 pounds is awesome. I'm not even going to think that it could be double that if I had done the work i was supposed to do becauase I'm losing and I'm on my way down.... It feels good now that people are noticing that I'm losing.
My good friend Vicki and I went to a lapband support group last night and there was a guy Raymond there that I had seen and talked to before a couple of months ago and he noticed I had lost and it made me feel really good. Ron still doesn't notice but he's around me 7 days a week so its hard for him to see the small amounts. Hopefully he'll come home one day from work and notice it. :) The group was great and very informative. I do feel better going to the group meetings so I'm trying to hit as many of them as I can. Its keeps me positive and the other members inspire me.
I go for another visit with Dr. Bass this month on the 23rd so I'll be posting then with new progress.
Thanks again for those that are subscribing to my blog and keeping track of me and giving me encouragement, I really appreciate it.
Hugs to all and have a great July!!

Sunday, May 24, 2009

Lapband vs. Eating Disorders

I named this post Lapband vs. eating disorders because that is my fight with the weight loss. I got the lapband done which as Dr. Bass has indicated over and over again, is just a tool to help you lose weight, you still have to do all the hard work. Its not a quick fix or the easy way out by any means. I'm beginning to wonder if I should have went with the gastric bypass but then I think of stories I have heard from other people and reading online of the number of people who have died from doing it. It is a little too drastic for me and I promised my family I wouldn't go to that extreme.
I saw Dr. Bass on Thursday and I gained 3 pounds. The band is NOT the problem here, its me and my eating disorder. The band didnt' fix the compulsive over eating and the binging and food addiction. That is still there and I'm struggling with it every single day.
I eat things I'm not supposed to eat and I am still having a big problem with not drinking with my meals. Everyone who knows me knows that I have a bottle of green tea with me at ALL times and its hard to put it down for just 1 hour. Maybe another addiction???
I have to get back on track and follow all of the instructions from top to bottom and I know I will be very successful. I'm a little bothered by the fact that next Monday will be 6 months since I had the surgery and I'm only down 17 pounds. Not happy with that at all but only one person to blame for it and that is ME!!! I have to get my eating under control and not sure how to do it.
I'm going to start back tomorrow measuring all of my food (which I haven't done since surgery), I need to invest in a small food scale and eat the proper amounts. Sometimes I can eat and sometimes I can't, sometimes it gets stuck (not eating it well enough could be the problem) and it comes back up.
I can't eat in the mornings at all, the band is tight and I have to wait until around 10 or after to have my first meal. I have found also that I can't eat after 7 in the evening or it makes me sick too. Salads are going so well so I have pushed those aside until later when I can try them again. I'm staying away from the breads, potatoes, etc. that I'm not supposed to have but I will confess that I did eat some chocolate cake and I know that is a NO NO big time!
I will post the end of next week and let you know my progress. Going to weigh in the morning and see how I do all week.
Good luck to all of you that have had the surgery that are reading my blog, please don't be discouraged by anything I write because THE BAND IS NOT THE PROBLEM, its ME!!!
If you do what the doctor tells you to do, you will be very successful with the lapband, I know several people that did the surgery around the same time I did and they have lost up to 50 pounds already, they are doing what they are supposed to be doing and you can tell by the progress they are making.
Until next time, have a great week!!!

Thursday, May 14, 2009

Found the article from Entertainment Tonight

Here is the article from ET.

Update from last doctors visit

I saw Dr. Bass on the 26th of April and it was good news. I lost 11 pounds the month of April for a total of 20. That made me feel good but I'm struggling now for the last week, wanting to eat every 10 minutes and eating quite a bit again. It seems like I get to the 20 pound mark and my body freaks out and wants the weight back on. Sounds crazy but my food is my comfort and it scares me to lose it because I feel like my cover is going. That is part of the eating disorder.

I haven't posted links here on the blog for the newspaper story that was written in the local paper and Entertainment Tonight came to my house and did a story on myself and my roommate at the time who has anorexia. i have put the links below so you can read up on them. its pretty much my whole life history and most of the reasons I compulsively overeat and binge. Please feel free to email me at, or post here to the group if you want to make comments or ask any questions.

NEWS PRESS STORY - it was in the paper 6 days in a row.

Chapter 1:

Chapter 2:

Chapter 3:

Chapter 4:

Chapter 5:

Chapter 6:

I haven't weighed since I saw Dr. Bass the end of last month, I see him again the end of this month and I hope I do better than I am right now, might need some more fill.

I'll keep you posted!