Christmas Day was a struggle

My brother Phil, my mom Betty, my brother James and myself

My boyfriend Ron and I at moms for Chirstmas



My little toy poodle Pepi and I Christmas Day
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I don't think my struggles right now are because it was Christmas, I think its just because I need to get my first fill which is January 7th. I can't wait.... I am hungry all the time, some of it is mental, just used to eating all day long before surgery. I do get hunger pains that people can hear across a room so I know I'm hungry when that happens. I'm sticking to my protein and some veggies but I will confess that Christmas Day at my moms, I did have 1 little homemade shortbread cookie and a little bite of chicken/dressing casserole. Mom made a couple of beef roasts and it was really good. I did NOT eat any of the potatoes but I did have a few baby carrots and some little baby onions. I've talked to some other people that have had lapband surgery and they said its pretty normal to be hungry before you get your first fill. Sometimes Dr. Bass said it might take 3 or 4 fills to get me where I need to be. When I eat, I don't notice a full feeling much at all. Ron and I went out to eat the other day and I ordered a steak but brought about 2/3 of it home for a couple more meals. I haven't weighed lately, my scale is not with the one in Dr. Bass's office anyway and i really need to go by his. I dont' want to keep getting off and on the scale becuase it can be a bit depressing and get me down if I dont' lose anything. i have talked to so many people now that have had the surgery and some of them aren't losing much at all (due to eating the wrong stuff I'm sure) and some of them have lost alot of weight in a short period of time. I'm trying not to think about my "big goal" which is losing 180 pounds it seems like I'll never get there but I know in a couple of years if I keep doing what I'm supposed to be doing and listen to Dr. Bass and Tiffany that I will reach my goal. What a happy day that will be for sure. I told my niece Carrie the other day that she will have to take me shopping because I've been so big for so long, I don't even know how to shop for nice "in style" clothing. Of course, she is 24 and I'm 50 so I can't wear what she wears for sure. lol

I'm looking forward to the day I can walk in a store and buy whatever size I'm in (hopefully about a 12) and not have to try it on. That is a huge difference from the 4x I started at.